Reality hit when friends and family who helped me move to
Boston left to go back to Jersey. Now, I was with three
roommates that I met briefly before I moved in. They had
these funny Boston accents. Car keys sound like khaki pants.
I liked my New York accent even though they couldn’t
understand everything I was saying. When I went to the bank
to open a checking account, I realized I didn’t know anyone.
It would take me at least 45 minutes back home with all the
friends and neighbors I stopped to talk to. I went into the
bank with a lump in my throat and had to hold back the tears
when I opened the account.
Leaving what is so familiar is like landing in OZ - scary,
anxiety provoking confusion! I had to keep fighting the urge
to pack up and run home. Home meant all the familiar things
I was so comfortable with. New beginnings are not always
easy. I knew one route to Boston College, straight up
Commonwealth Avenue, and I clung to that route for weeks.
Basically I was staying on the yellow brick road, no fields
of poppy for me or poisonous apples that were thrown from
trees along the way.
Transitions are change and some of us do better with change
than others. We like staying in our home that we lived in
for 50 years even though it’s not a safe situation. As we
age, there are changes, physically and mentally that
jeopardize our safety. We cling to our homes like a captain
on a sinking ship. We close our minds to what our children
and professionals are saying to us in regards to our well
being. We push them away with anger and refuse to talk about
it.
Open your minds and hearts to what professionals and most of
all what your children and family are saying to you. They
care enough to find the courage to deal with your resistance
and anger. Fear of the unknown can keep you in an unsafe
situation. The fact that professionals and family are
expressing concerns about you living in an unsafe situation
in your home should speak volumes to you.
I never did move back to New Jersey and I know that I grew
in so many ways by making a change. You too can make that
change. Your future depends on it. |
