Strategies For Visiting A Loved One
By Beverly Moore

Question: How can I have a good visit with someone with dementia?

Answer: It can be difficult to visit a loved one with dementia. Family and friends don’t visit those with dementia for lack of understanding how to have a good visit.

Here are some helpful tips to get you on your way.

• Limit your visit; one you can handle with grace.

• Slow down your pace before entering their space.

• Identify yourself. “Hi mom, its Brad, can I come in? I have cookies for you.”

• Enjoy experiencing their world. Do not correct their memories.

• Talk slowly and deliberately. Sometimes it takes a full minute for them to make sense of it to respond.
   Wait the minute.

• Avoid quizzing; give information instead. Quizzing does nothing to strengthen the brain; it only frustrates
   the person.

• Avoid arguing; you will lose! Listening works best.

• Plan an activity; a short walk, reading a story, listening to music or hair brushing.

• Communicate positive feelings through a light back rub or a hand resting on the back or forearm. Always
   approach them from the front before touching them so they don’t startle.

• When giving choices, offer only two; “Do you want to walk, or talk and have the cookies together first?”

• Be aware that your presence alone may be enough to bring comfort to an otherwise confusing world.

Practicing these approaches is meditative. You will enjoy yourself as you sense the comfort you bring.

Now, wasn’t that a good visit?

About The Author
Beverly is owner of Alzheimer Coaching Services. She offers coaching to understand dementia and to learn to accommodate the person through habilitation methods. Her company is located in Quincy and you may reach her at (617) 233-1145, or www.alzheimercoachingservices.com.