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Matters of the Mind
By
Beverly Moore |
Question:
What do I do when my family member doesn’t recognize me?
Answer:
Disorientation means being out of touch with what is real;
who people are, where you are, or maybe even who you are. As
you can imagine, this is a very frightening place to be.
People with dementia often get disoriented. Sometimes this
lasts a long time, sometimes a few minutes.
Common times for disorientation are early morning upon
awakening and late afternoon when the sun is waning (this is
commonly called sundowning). The person may think they are
dreaming; everything around them seems unfamiliar or
strange.
We can help a person stay oriented by giving information.
“Mom, it’s me, Jack. It is eight o’clock. I have your
favorite breakfast on the table.” This exchange tells her it
is morning, you are her son, and it is time for breakfast.
This clarifying reassurance may be all she needs to become
oriented.
Other times the person may not be able to get out of their
confused state. They may think you are lying and become
agitated. Then it is best to either leave the room for a bit
and try again later, or tell a fiblet. Sue, a woman I
coached, said her husband of 60 years was sometimes unable
to identify her in the morning. He accused Sue of harming
his wife and was frightened. She reassured him that Sue had
gone out for a minute to buy his favorite raisin bread at
the store, and that she was watching the stove while Sue was
gone. “She’ll be back in five minutes.” Sue said, and
left the room. This seemed to satisfy him; he got up, went
and washed up. By the time he got to the kitchen, he
recognized her as his wife. “Oh, there you are. Good
morning.” He never mentioned the ‘other woman’; she never
existed!
Habilitation principle:
When a person is disoriented and a simple orienting
statement isn’t enough, do not try to convince them what is
real. Simply distract or reassure them. |
About The Author
Beverly
is owner of Alzheimer Coaching Services which serves
Metropolitan and West Suburban Boston, South Shore, Suffolk,
south Norfolk and Bristol counties. She offers coaching to
understand dementia and to learn how to accommodate the
person through habilitation methods. Three Title III E Older
American Act grants provide free coaching to families in the
south Norfolk, South Shore and Bristol areas. Her company is
located in Quincy and you may reach her at (617) 233-1145 or
visit her web site at
www.alzheimercoachingservices.com
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