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Uncommon Common Sense
By
Beverly Moore |
Question:
You often say in your talks that a caregiver has to learn
‘uncommon common sense’. Can you elaborate on that concept?
Answer:
Our way of working with people is expected to be rational,
relational and courteous. We plan with people. We tell them
what we think, what we are doing. We share ideas.
Communicating is easy; we try to say what we mean clearly.
We switch subjects midsentence when an idea we want to share
pops into our head and may or may not go back to the main
subject. If the person doesn’t understand something they ask
for clarification.
When your relative develops dementia, your way of relating
must change. Dementia causes changes to the brain that makes
it hard, maybe impossible, for your relative to relate
easily. You discover they cannot understand you when you
tell them what you are doing or thinking. You notice they
become anxious when you try to plan events with them. Their
facial expression tells you that you lost them in
conversation and you wonder why.
The solution is to learn why and then change your ways. The
brain has numerous functions; some or all of which are
affected when a person has dementia. Thinking is slower,
understanding is slower, retrieving information is very hard
and communicating is challenging. Once you as caregiver
learn what has happened to the brain and how to work and
talk in a different way, you do things differently. You slow
down speech, wait for answers and stop long explanations.
You no longer talk about plans. You wait until it is just
about to happen; then you tell them. You realize you have to
set up tasks, take it one step at a time, and visually cue
the person to ensure their success.
So now you understand and use uncommon sense. And what is
the result? You stay in the relationship with them and they
feel more in control of their life. Now isn’t that just
common uncommon sense?
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About The Author
Beverly is
owner of Alzheimer Coaching Services which serves eastern
Massachusetts and Rhode Island. ACS offers coaching to
understand dementia and learn how to keep the person with
memory loss integrated in family life. Title III E Older
American Act grants provide free coaching to families in 45
towns and cities in the Bristol, south Norfolk, south shore
and West Suburban areas. No referral is necessary. There is
no restriction of income or age. Beverly’s company is
located in Quincy and she may be reached at (617) 233-1145.
You may read more about her company’s services at
www.alzheimercoachingservices. com. Look for Beverly’s book
Matters of the Mind…and the Heart to be released early 2008
Pre-order your copy @ www.Advantagebookstore.com.
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