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Make Your Vacation A
Positive
By
Beverly Moore |
 “I’d
love to take a vacation, but I feel guilty when I take time
off from care giving.”
Many caregivers struggle with this feeling of guilt. They
want relief from the burden of care giving and know they
need it, but somehow cannot give themselves this gift. Their
reasons are varied. “He is the one who is sick. How can I
feel good leaving him?” or, “I’m the only one who can care
for her properly. How can I leave her with someone else?”
Recently one of our coaches, Michelle, attended a workshop,
‘Marriage and Alzheimer’s: For Better or Worse?’ The phrase
that caught her attention was ‘When one is sick, two need
care.” Life is irrevocably altered. Roles change, new, often
unwanted roles are placed on the caregiver and family
relationships become strained, while daily care of the
patient increases.
Caregivers need to reframe taking a vacation in a more
positive way. “I will be a better caregiver if I take care
of myself.” “If something happens to me, what will happen to
her? I have to last.” “I will have more patience if I take a
break.”
I have found that caregivers are duty bound, not realizing
their need for refreshment on a regular basis. They do
anything for their family member with dementia. Perhaps the
best thing they can do is take a break, give to themselves,
so they will last longer. The staggering statistic is this;
50% of caregivers die before the person with Alzheimer’s.
Jane, whose story was in last month’s column, is a healthy
caregiver. She takes ‘urban hikes’ with friends, always
including the North End for a well deserved lunch. She goes
to yoga class twice a week and takes regular vacations with
family and friends. Do you think perhaps because she does
this for herself, she has been able to care for her husband
for nine years? Absolutely! |
About The Author
Beverly Moore
is president of Sweet Grapes, Inc. a licensor for StilMee™
coaches. Stil- Mee™ is the leader in Alzheimer coaching. For
more information, you may visit Beverly’s web site at
www.StilMee.com. Beverly’s book Matters of the Mind…and the
Heart is available on line at www.StilMee.com and you may
read her blog at www.stilmeecoach. blogspot.com.
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