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Reacting To Illogical
Behavior
By
Beverly Moore |
Question: Why
do I react the way I do to their illogical behavior?
Answer: Changing the way we interact with a loved one
is not easy. For years, perhaps decades, we could anticipate
how they would typically respond to situations. We aren’t
ready to accept that they cannot respond the same anymore;
the brain’s activity has slowed.
What is said may not get stored, so information that isn’t
stored cannot be retrieved.
We continue to talk fast, switch subjects, and attempt to
plan things with them. We have little understanding in the
beginning what memory loss is; we understand forgetfulness
but memory loss? How can what just happened be lost? But it
is and they respond to only what is happening at the moment.
There is also a grieving process that takes place for us as
we see them change. We first try to get the person back to
what they were; we frustrate them and us. After a time we
accept that the disease is causing the changes, not them.
Hopefully we accept the “new” person and enjoy them as they
are, in the moment. We must try to see their logic behind
the behavior. If a care partner can arrive at this place, we
can then learn to thoughtfully respond rather than react to
the seemingly illogical behaviors. The behaviors are only
illogical in our reality, not theirs.
For them, it is very logical indeed.
Next Month’s Question: Should we still vacation,
and if so, how do we plan for it? |
About The Author
Beverly is
owner of Alzheimer Coaching Services. She offers coaching to
understand dementia and to learn to accommodate the person
through habilitation methods. Her company is located in
Quincy and you may reach her at (617) 233-1145, or
www.alzheimercoachingservices.com.
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