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Are There Any
Positives At All?
By
Beverly Moore |
 Our
monthly columnist, Beverly Moore, relays the real life story
of a caregiver who didn’t want to be one, but learned to
appreciate the benefits of caring for another and keeping a
love alive.
I am sharing a story from a caregiver who has found purpose
and moments of joy. Her name is Jane and she is now a
StilMee coach helping other couples through the care giving
journey. Here is what she writes.
My husband, Vid and I left the neurologist’s office in
disbelief. Probable Alzheimer’s was the diagnosis. My
response was denial.
“I’m not ready to hear that.” It was so difficult for me to
say, “My husband, Vid has Alzheimer’s.”
A diagnosis of depression, stroke, vascular dementia,
anything but Alzheimer’s was more acceptable. Anger took
over. I was furious with Vid. How could he have this
terrible disease? What am I to do? I am not ready to be his
caregiver. I would cry everyday on my way to work. Dropping
Vid at day care was especially painful. He did not want to
go. It was an emotional struggle for both of us. I had to be
the “bad guy” who coaxed him out of the car and into the NE
Sinai Adult Day Program. Due to Alzheimer’s, his safety and
daily structure were important, as well as my piece of mind.
After years of fighting against the disease that has taken
over our lives, I have found peace and so many rewards in my
care giving journey. Have I been alone on my journey?
Absolutely not. There are many wonderful people who have
supported Vid and me; family, friends, professionals and
support group leaders among them.
My nine-year journey living with the knowledge that
Alzheimer’s has taken away the future that Vid and I had
hoped for has brought me to a new and unexpected place of
living in the moment. The inner peace I feel today sharing
our precious time together and the unconditional love I feel
for my husband of forty- seven years are my rewards. I have
been able to identify my purpose and make some sense out of
my today.
So, it is a matter of time and will to find that meaning.
Care giving is a journey that can only be walked one day at
a time. Jane found it; you will find it too. |
About The Author
Beverly Moore is president of Sweet Grapes, Inc. and
StilMee™, the leader in Alzheimer coaching™. You may reach
Beverly at Stil- Mee@comcast.net or get more information on
her company by visiting www.StilMee.com. Visit Beverly’s
blog @ www.stilmeecoach. blogspot.com.
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