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Matters of the Mind
By
Beverly Moore |
Question:
How do I explain my father’s memory loss to my kids? They
are 10, 8 and 4. They are staying away from my father
because they are afraid of him.
Answer:
Children are, like us, initially afraid of what they don’t
understand. When your father doesn’t know their names, or
behaves in unexpected ways, your children may avoid him.
This can be very hurtful for your father and isn’t helpful
for your children either.
Children can be taught about memory loss through
professional counseling with the family and the children in
the safety of their home. When children understand why their
grandpa is like he is, and especially, how they can relate
with him again, their acceptance will come.
There are wonderful books for children of all ages
explaining memory loss. A wonderful color filled story,
The Magic Tape Recorder
by Joyce Simard, is for children
pre-school to junior high age. Joyce focuses on how children
can help the person with memory loss. One that is quite
funny is Gramma’s Cobwebs by Ann Frantti for children
6-10. A warming story for African-American children, about
Tamika learning how to reach beyond memory loss to her
gramma Mama Lou is Singing with Mama Lou by Linda
Jacobs Altman. The Magic Tape Recorder can be bought
on line at www.amazon.com. The other two are available from
the Massachusetts Alzheimer’s Association at (617) 868-6718
or on line at
www.alzmass.org.
Your acceptance of your father’s disease will also impact
how your children relate to him. Model respectful
communication skills that take into account his challenges.
How are you responding to his illness? If you don’t act
concerned around him, and learn how to include him in family
life, the children will feel more at ease with him, and
reestablish a relationship with him. |
About The Author
Beverly
is owner of Alzheimer Coaching Services which serves
Metropolitan and West Suburban Boston, South Shore, Suffolk,
south Norfolk and Bristol counties. She offers coaching to
understand dementia and to learn how to accommodate the
person through habilitation methods. Three Title III E Older
American Act grants provide free coaching to families in the
south Norfolk, South Shore and Bristol areas. Her company is
located in Quincy and you may reach her at (617) 233-1145 or
visit her web site at
www.alzheimercoachingservices.com
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