"Life As I Would Like It To Be"
By Tom Quirk

Scituate - Family caregivers look back to when the family problems concerned school grades and car maintenance, and they thought they had troubles!

Will the family breadwinner, currently unable to walk, incontinent and somewhat confused, ever be able to assume the usual responsibilities and resume their routine? There were no warning signs, the annual physical was passed with flying colors, and there was no family history for this nonsmoker. The surgery was successful, but now residing seriously impaired in a rehabilitation hospital, with an insurance policy clock ticking, every day.

He had always handled the family finances and the maintenance issues, while she focused on household matters as well as the kid’s school concerns. This was not a role reversal, but a complete assumption of all family and household responsibilities, compounded by worrying about the family’s future financial well-being and the loss of her personal, emotional and spousal relationship.

Norman Rockwell (1894-1978), a most successful visual communicator of the 20th Century, a masterful painter and keen observer of human nature, never claimed to portray reality in his 4,000 pieces. Instead he painted “life as I would like it to be,” purposely avoiding “the agonizing crises and tangles that experience often presents.” Would that we had the ability to do the same!

Brain aneurysms surely present “agonizing crises and tangles” to a survivor’s family. The adverse implications may be temporary or permanent, and the ultimate residual deficit can range from minimal to catastrophic and life altering. Shifting family responsibilities, even when only of a short-term nature, are highly disruptive to the emotional well being of all. Children have to cope with the loss of parental guidance, and they often have to step up to obligations, well beyond their years. The emotional damage to the wellbeing of the partner-caregiver can be so overwhelming, that depression and even the collapse of the relationship, frequently occurs.

Support groups provide a respectful environment where experiences are shared and mutual support given and received, among those impacted by brain aneurysms.

About The Author
For more information you may contact Tom Quirk at (781) 545-2300, extension 628 or via email at tfquirk@aol.com. For more detailed information about brain aneurysms, please visit the Brain Aneurysm Foundation’s web site at www.bafound.org.