Take Care - Part II
By Tom Quirk

Scituate - The loved one is Job 1. However, when an exhausted and stressed-out caregiver’s reserves are depleted, they are of little help. Andrew Weil MD points out that “the human heart takes oxygen from the blood for itself first, to pump its own arteries. If it didn’t do that, the heart wouldn’t be able to support the rest of the body.” Similarly, if caregivers don’t care for themselves, they cannot care for an ailing loved one.

“Why me” reflects a victim syndrome. A brain aneurysm has interfered with a family’s good life. A family caregiver spends countless hours in hospitals, doctor’s offices and in dreary, repetitive and sometimes thankless tending to the patient’s needs. There is an emotional and physical toll exacted and resentment often follows.

The caregiver shouldn’t be ashamed of these feelings because it is a natural emotion and common in these circumstances. It must be dealt with, but not in a conversation with the patient. After acknowledging these feelings and our discomfort in having them, they are best confided to a trusted family member, friend or clergy member. Humans need social interaction, but illness can isolate both patient and caregiver. Having someone in whom we can confide and with whom we can discuss our pain, connects us with others and helps us to think through and resolve our issues.

It is helpful to consider what renews us emotionally and spiritually. Self-nurturing activities will restore our spirit. Work with the simple things that do not require advance planning; a movie, reading or gardening, so that when an opportunity arises, we’ll be ready to go.

A crisis can be an opportunity to grow, to develop a sense of strength, courage, wisdom, compassion and peace, if we frame it in a spiritual perspective.

About The Author
For more information, you may contact Tom Quirk at (781) 545-2300 or via email at tfquirk@ aol.com. For more information on brain aneurysms, please visit the Brain Aneurysm Foundation’s web site at www.bafound.org.