Reasons To Be Thankful
By Tom Quirk

Scituate - The family is the basic societal unit, with the roles and responsibilities of each to the other, reasonably well defined. We have moved beyond Ozzie and Harriett as the stereotypical family, but the essentials remain. When routine daily living is unexpectedly upended, one hopes that rank close, responsibilities get reassigned and life goes on. A nurse once told me of a friend who said that she had been married to three different husbands, without ever being divorced. Over a period of years, two separate aneurysms had dramatically changed her husband and he just wasn’t the same. The post aneurysm survivor isn’t the same initially, although over time they may return to their former self, with only minor deficits; but not always.

During the crisis phase the family experiences shock, confusion and fear. As they learn more they tend to be more accepting, and start to rearrange their routine in response to the challenge. Friends and family provide support and comfort, to both the survivor and caregiver. Lawns get mowed, bills get paid and meals get cooked; adjustments are made.

Later the realization that this may be an enduring situation, introduces varied emotions. The patient, once a better awareness level is achieved, may be angry at their loss of control and reduced self-image. They may bear dependency, isolation and the future. The spouse may resent the unfairness of the circumstances, the loss of emotional and physical intimacy and the additional responsibilities within the family that they have been forced to assume. Children may find themselves “parentified” as they take on additional burdens within the family. Should the survivor be the sole family provider, the financial stability of the family becomes a monumental concern. These circumstances challenge one’s religious beliefs and the integrity of the family unit, and sometimes neither survives.

On the other hand, family and friends, humor, faith and adaptability, can introduce a phenomena of post traumatic growth. This occurs when the recovery stage has passed, and an adjusted lifestyle with new roles emerges. There is a new sense of closeness within the family unit, a different appreciation of what is important, a new sense of trust in life and thanksgiving for what they have.

About The Author
For more information you may contact Tom Quirk at (781) 545-2300, extension 628 or via email at tfquirk@aol.com. For more detailed information about brain aneurysms, please visit the Brain Aneurysm Foundation’s web site at www.bafound.org.