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 Travel
Well Together
By Doreen Orion
With the
summer travel season upon us, many couples discover the
vacations they’ve looked forward to all year are anything
but fun. Rather than having a relaxing time, being together
24/7 can be a minefield for couples who don’t anticipate the
potential perils.
Many will find that vacationing can actually be more
stressful than everyday life, as all the distractions of
work and family obligations fall away and couples are left
with just each other to deal with. For some partners, all
this 24/7 togetherness merely amplifies any problems
previously disguised by more obvious, outside, day-to-day
stresses. In this way, vacations can actually be tougher
than not having enough time with each other the rest of the
year. Here are three ways to make all that togetherness on
your summer trip more than tolerable - even downright
pleasant.
1. Find Ways to Compromise
Don’t look at every negotiation as if it means you have to
give up something. It’s crucial that you both feel like
you’ve been met about halfway overall. If not, even if
you’ve “won” that particular battle, your partner’s
resentment will very likely make it a lot less enjoyable for
you. You can’t expect your partner to only do the things you
want to do. And, just because your partner gets his or her
way sometimes, doesn’t mean you’ve “lost.” Pick your
battles. Only make an issue out of things that are truly
important to you. It’s not only essential to spend time
doing things you can enjoy together, but also to explore new
ways to have fun with each other. Try to look at any
activity that wasn’t your first choice as an opportunity to
share in your partner’s pleasure, learn something different
about him or her as well as a chance to see your spouse in a
new situation. You might just find it sexy.
2. Cultivate a Friendship
Remember what it was that attracted you to your spouse in
the first place and make sure to bring out in yourself what
was attractive about you. Strong friendships are based on
shared moments and experiences cultivate a few of these on
vacation you can look back on later. In addition, if
you don’t make time to laugh every single day and be playful
in your “regular” life, now’s the time. The child parts of
each of you need to hang out together and play. Be
spontaneous, “go with the flow,” and most of all, have fun!
Hopefully, tapping back into those aspects of yourselves on
vacation will then carry over when you get home.
 3.
Be Romantic
Romance is one of those relationship “extras” that’s so easy
to let fall by the wayside, especially as time passes, but
is so important to help maintain a couple’s bond above and
beyond their basic friendship. Whether it’s as simple and
spontaneous as holding hands, or as elaborate and planned
out as a candlelight dinner, romance helps keeps a
relationship fresh.
For example, give your spouse a peck on the cheek, a squeeze
on the shoulder or a full-on hug when he or she least
expects it. And, don’t forget to spruce up, a bit! Your
partner will appreciate it and likely reciprocate. Make the
decision to put in the effort in the romance department –
that’s the best way to get your spouse to do so, as well. If
you’re waiting for him or her to make the first move, your
vacation may already be over by the time it happens.
So, when traveling with your spouse this summer, remember to
compromise and cultivate your friendship, but also add back
a little romance to your relationship. Be flexible in the
choices you make and try to find something positive, even
when doing activities you might not have picked for
yourself. Don’t be resentful, and above all, don’t be afraid
to try new things – together. Doing so can create wonderful
shared memories and help each of you see the other in a new
light, injecting some spark into the relationship.
Get back to that foundation of friendship and play that’s so
common in courtship, but often goes by the wayside when
other obligations and commitments are added through the
years. Remember what it was about that initial attraction
and hold on to it. Bring out that side of yourself, as well.
Finally, don’t forget the romance! It’s the essential
ingredient that spices up relationships, keeping them fresh
and fun. Little gestures count. And, be sure to take
pleasure in romancing your partner as well as being on the
receiving end.
About The Author
Doreen Orion is a psychiatrist who spent 24/7 in 340
square feet for a year with her psychiatrist husband when
they traveled around the U.S. in a converted bus. She is the
author of Queen of the Road: The True Tale of 47 States,
22,000 Miles, 200 Shoes, 2 Cats, 1 Poodle, a Husband, and a
Bus With a Will of Its Own (Broadway Books). For more, you
may visit Doreen’s web site at www.QueenOfTheRoadTheBook.com.
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